Blackberry only works if you get email

One of the nice things the company I used to work for did was to allow those of us provided work cell phones with Blackberry components, was to keep them though we had to transfer them to personal use. I did. I love my little phone/blackberry whatever. However, I just realized that when you don't work, you don't get as many emails. And, I was addicted to my email.

I am a Type A personality: always doing, going, finding things to do, people to meet, places to go. The quiet (if you can call staying at your daughters with a baby and a 2 year old quiet) is getting to me. I cannot find a place to call me own and feel very, very....I don't know what I feel to be honest.

I wear no make up and sometimes scare myself when I see myself in the mirror. Who is this person? Not me, that's for sure.

Trying to deal and sort out all the issues related to unemployment sucks. I feel my motivation for doing things has left me. I need to get myself together. Next week I go back home and hope to start exercising again to push me to the point where I can take care of me.

Today it's supposed to be in the 80's. I am going to visit my son in Hanover Pa and looking forward to it. Other then this, not sure what I will do. But maybe I expect too much of myself now. Maybe I need to just chill out and stop over thinking things. Should I be defined by my work side? Gosh I hope not. I am hope I am more then a marketing, communications, branding, health care former nurse person.

I am a mother, grandmother, daughter, sister, friend, and??? Not sure what the question marks mean. But maybe they mean everything happens for a reason and maybe this is the time to reflect on me to find out who I am and what I want to be......I do know I want to have fun again. So I have to strive for that....more to come.