Life Goes On..the Next Chapter

Unless you are a good chef on Top Chef and have the weekly risk of being let go (when it should have been someone else, Robin), and maybe even if you are a Top Chef contestant, life does go on, fortunately. In addition to my Top Chef addiction, I am also addicted to Project Runway, and the Ravens football team, though wish they were doing better. Rambling? Probably, but I have time to ramble...this is my 6th month of being unemployed, which in and of itself, is a full time job.

 I am not alone...and, I have one more addiction for survival: bi-weekly "Rif" meetings with my former colleagues.

There are about 90 of us still unemployed who worked for the same company, and are in the same region geographically, who are staying connected. We have our own special group on Linked In, set up by a former employee that allows us to vent, stay connected, share tips and even job postings. And the more local of us, meet in person every 2 weeks, rotating at various Panera stores for breakfast (Panera, if you are reading this, how about discounts for the unemployed?) ..a theme that started at our former workplace....when we meet, we eat.

I am addicted to these sessions where my former colleagues, now friends, talk, share, laugh, cry, vent and give hope to each other. I don't know how I would survive without them. There is a bond that will last a lifetime. I have learned so much from all of them.

Lesson one: move on. When you get "let go" from a company, you go through a grieving process, sometimes with anger and disappointment. Sometimes the company you so admired doesn't seem to meet the same expectations in layoffs that they had when you worked for them. But it's really about you, not them.

Lesson two: make the effort to stay connected and share information. The company I worked for had a mission that included "sharing our (their) gifts with others". That meant, even helping competitors. Why? For the greater good.  It is a message I carry with me today.

Lesson three: everything happens for a reason. Yes there are regrets but learn from them to get to lesson one.

My former company recently filed for Chapter 11. And some of the former employees have not let go. They don't remember how good the company was to work for and how much they took care of the employees. Instead, they post on blogs and on news stories the negative comments that only demonstrate how disgruntled they are. Sad. And not helpful to them or the situation.

No one is perfect and neither is any business entity. But the economic downturn was and is difficult. And, many businesses did not believe it would get so bad. My advice? If you hate what happened, don't blame yourself of your company, call George Bush. Let him know.

Lesson four: get involved in something to make you feel good. Even if its joining an online community about a show you love. Stay connected and find the fun in life.

And if you are lucky enough to have children or grandchildren, enjoy the moments this time off from work affords you. Nothing makes life as good as seeing it through a child's eyes..the innocence of youth is too delicious. So I wish you well if you are struggling to find a job, know you are not alone and feel free to post your experiences here. Fortunately, life goes on.

An Amazing Calm

I don't know what's happened to me but I kind of like it. No job, too much competition, too many people out of work. But I seem to be going with the flow, finally.

I have let go of the past with my former company. I wish them well. They had yet another devastating layoff 2 weeks ago. Many more of my former colleagues are gone. I understand what they will go through,and have been emailing them to offer support because I have so much support from former colleagues, family and friends. But the company and their issues are no longer on the top of my list. Instead, I am taking what happened and trying to make something positive from it.

I worked for 5 days at a temporary job and reported it as one is required to do to unemployment. I got cut off but am allowed to re-apply which I did. And, it did not freak me out. Who knew?

Cobra costs suck but no alternative so am directing my energy to pushing for health care reform. It is needed and am sick and tired of media and political pontification on this. If you did not have health care coverage, what would you do?

Today I finally finish cleaning out and removing junk from my mother's apartment as she is in an assisted living complex now. It was hard to do but it was her choice and she is doing well.

The cleansing is more then my mom's apartment.I am getting rid of lots of stuff at home also. It feels great. I keep busy. Life is good mainly because of children, grand kids and friends. Onward and upward.....more to come.

I'm Back: Life, Liberty and Pursuit of Happiness Again

Last week a friend got me a stint overseeing clinical nursing practice among nursing assistant students. They were great. I felt good about the crop of people going into health care. What I learned is that I do NOT want to stand on my feet for 8 hours a day for 5 straight days ever again for any job. The old legs held up but the fatigue that set in at end of the week was cumulative and over bearing. The good news is I have eliminated the type of job I want.

Last week, my former company cut more people, more layoffs of good people who did nothing wrong who are joining me out of a job. I guess what gets to me is why some of this is done over the phone as it was tried with me but I insisted on coming in. This is devastating news to anyone. It needs to be face to face; respect is important to all human beings even in difficult times. I feel badly for my former co workers. I know what they will face: the grieving, the anger, questioning themselves and others. I still have difficulty facing this. The good news is we have a group of really wonderful former colleagues who formed both an online and offline community to help each other survive, and we will do just that.

Walter Cronkite died. I grew up watching him. An honorable man; lived a long life and was actually on RLTV a couple years ago doing commentary in his 90's. His death brought to the forefront how we miss honorable, trusted, factual, no pontificating news anchors. But that's the way it is.................

The good news: Top Chef Masters is a great program that is coming to an end soon. Do you watch it? Love it and can't wait for Top Chef and Project Runway to return. Yes, reality shows, at least some of them, provide a great diversion with little thinking.

My plan: if no job by Sept. 1st, am taking a course to change my focus and get a new job in new area; not as much "fun" but pays good and has good benefits. Cobra finally kicked in and the shock of the monthly payments is killing me. But at least I have a plan. Right?

And lastly, the most awful news: Paula Abdul not returning to American Idol? What will we do? Who will we discuss? I actually like Paula; just wish she would keep her mouth shut sometimes but then, some people say that about me also.

More to come..............

Rain, rain go away....it stimulates a down mood

Today I am struggling...rain has stopped after 3 days but very cloudy and may rain again today. COBRA is finally activated and got my meds. Keep applying for the minimal jobs in the marketplace. Finally got my unemployment check after the debacle with my prior company telling unemployment I was a voluntary quit!

The good: my kids and grandchild came for dinner last night and I used the cilantro from my "recession garden". I got to cook a full dinner without fatigue from working all day.

The good: I reserved the domain forestoffools.com to hopefully create a fun site where people can plant virtual trees for the fools they know. And will offer this free and sell advertising. Who knows?

The good: have health insurance finally.

The good: everyone in family is healthy this week.

The good: I have wonderful friends and colleagues who call me, see me, try to find me jobs.

The bad news: I am struggling today with feelings of uncertainty and sadness. My mood matches the weather and I know that is not unusual for lots of folks. I read an article in USA today yesterday about how seniors are the ones who are struggling the most with foreclosures. Scary. At a time when life should be great, the plans for retirement are not what was supposed to be. And that is very scary. Some people believe that older folks are just that: "they had their time". I wonder how many people realize that people work all their lives and save, plan for a time when they can enjoy life but still contribute and be part of life. The mockery that is prevalent in this society about growing older stinks.

For me, I struggle with fear and uncertainty...but then, hopefully, the sun will come up tomorrow and things will be better....ah, maybe I should sing that song....the good news: no one can hear me!

Forest of Fools Alive and Well in Health Coverage

I feel like I am losing my mind here. It's 7 weeks since layoff and still no COBRA. This is outsourced by my former company. When I call I get a voice mail. I have left voice mails every single day for the last 3 weeks after completing all that I was told to do. Still nothing. They never call back. And my former company cancelled my health insurance even though I committed to COBRA and was willing to pay in advance so I have no health insurance.

I have allergies and asthma. This is my worst season for grass and trees. To refill meds would cost me over $600 not to mention going to doctor which I did and cost was over $100. The HR dept response: pay for it and it will be reimbursed. Ha! Have you ever dealt with bureaucracies? I have. It's a nightmare for reimbursements. Who cares? Obviously no one in the health administration company with whom my company affiliated.

So today, I added their names to the Forest of Fools where I plant a tree (all in my mind) and I actually visualized a huge group of ferocious dogs urinating on the trees. I feel much better now though I still don't have health insurance.

The Forest of Fools is a place to let anger go.....I am considering launching a website for this. I know there are thousands, if not millions of people who know fools. It will be my donation to the world to let go of anger and to put these inconsiderate, non-customer service oriented people where they belong.

The good news is that my "recession garden" filled with herbs, vegetables and fruits are growing!! Of course, these are not trees, and I'm no fool.

Life is good...weekend is here

Though its the 2nd day of rain, life is good. My version of a recession garden is blooming though I am still waiting for my strawberry and blueberry bushes.

I am going to be guest blogging on my friend Ronni Bennett's blog, Time Goes (http://www.timegoesby.net/) By on June 14th. I found a new blog I love called Pink Slip: http://pinkslipblog.blogspot.com/. This blog keeps things in perspective if you have a skewed take on life, which I definitely fit. This is from the blog today when a friend of the blogger put his Haiku up (he was recently laid off). I love it, succinct and says it all (not at all like me):

Out of work, this sucks
"It's an opportunity"
Says those with a job.


Yep, life is good. More to come

What I learned since the RIF

RIF= reduction in force. I hear more are on the way and worry about my colleagues. Sad times. But I have learned a lot since leaving on tax day.

What I learned:

I have friends I never realized I had

People are so good and share info on jobs

There are a lot of us out there

I can survive

There are also some negatives (unfortunately), some people don't keep promises and don't care about you once you are gone.

COBRA and health insurance are a disaster, at least in this instance. I could say more but am thinking twice.

There are a lot of people who should be planted in the forest of fools so I am thinking I will create a virtual place to plant them. More to come.

Rainy day here but looking forward to meeting friends for dinner...good things will come. There is always something to be thankful for. Here's just some of mine:

Healthy family and friends
Wonderful kids and grand kids
Exceptional friends who don't forget me
A nice home with nice neighbors
I am alive


What's yours?

Biggest Loser? Maybe you. Reality Shows vs. Medicare

I wanted to personally thank American Idol and Biggest Loser for helping me to maintain my sanity. I can't believe I am saying that. But it's true. Yesterday I found out I may not be eligible for COBRA assistance under President Obama recovery plan because I could be eligible for Medicare.

This makes no sense. On the day it was announced that Medicare is in financial trouble, and with my layoff being eligible for full health coverage under COBRA for 18 months, why would they force me to go to Medicare. In fact, I am truly eligible for Medicare NEXT YEAR. By choosing to go on it now, I have to pay double the premiums for Medicare A and B, a whopping $182 monthly for a 20-80 coverage (I pay 20%) AND no prescription coverage unless I pick up part D for close to $50 per month. If I want to add a supplemental coverage to cover those things not covered by Medicare, I have to choose a Medicare Advantage Plan for close to $150 per month or a supplemental for close to $200 per month. If I got the Recovery Act Cobra, my FULL health coverage would only be $150 per month for EVERYTHING!!! Without it the assistance, my COBRA is $538 per month vs. $482 for Medicare.

Most people think Medicare is free: it is NOT free nor does it cover health needs for the average person. In fact it penalizes aged people by not covering most preventive tests. So here is what you get when you get older: coverage that lets you get sick, or die and you pay for it. Nice huh? For those of you not yet of Medicare age, get ready. This is your great so called entitlement program. I was so angry I decide to plant all those who created this wonderful option that I never asked for (got laid off), I decided to put these programs and people in my schmuck's forest: a forest filled with trees I plant (in my mind) by giving names for them. Then I let them go and move on. This doesn't mean I won't fight for what is right! Feel free to join me.

Not winding up in my forest are American Idol and Biggest Loser. Thank goodness for this distraction, though will have to wait till next season for more Biggest Loser. And only one more week for Idol. Where is Project Runway when you need them????????????? The copy cat show on Bravo called Fashion Show is TERRIBLE. Watched it once and no more. Hmmmmm, maybe they belong in my forest.

So on to the gym to work out the stress. Still looking for a job...........or a great new reality show, which ever comes first!

Blackberry only works if you get email

One of the nice things the company I used to work for did was to allow those of us provided work cell phones with Blackberry components, was to keep them though we had to transfer them to personal use. I did. I love my little phone/blackberry whatever. However, I just realized that when you don't work, you don't get as many emails. And, I was addicted to my email.

I am a Type A personality: always doing, going, finding things to do, people to meet, places to go. The quiet (if you can call staying at your daughters with a baby and a 2 year old quiet) is getting to me. I cannot find a place to call me own and feel very, very....I don't know what I feel to be honest.

I wear no make up and sometimes scare myself when I see myself in the mirror. Who is this person? Not me, that's for sure.

Trying to deal and sort out all the issues related to unemployment sucks. I feel my motivation for doing things has left me. I need to get myself together. Next week I go back home and hope to start exercising again to push me to the point where I can take care of me.

Today it's supposed to be in the 80's. I am going to visit my son in Hanover Pa and looking forward to it. Other then this, not sure what I will do. But maybe I expect too much of myself now. Maybe I need to just chill out and stop over thinking things. Should I be defined by my work side? Gosh I hope not. I am hope I am more then a marketing, communications, branding, health care former nurse person.

I am a mother, grandmother, daughter, sister, friend, and??? Not sure what the question marks mean. But maybe they mean everything happens for a reason and maybe this is the time to reflect on me to find out who I am and what I want to be......I do know I want to have fun again. So I have to strive for that....more to come.

Reality is setting in....getting laid off, new start

Here's what strikes me as I head into the end of the first week of being laid off: there aren't as many emails or anything work related to do. Too damn quiet. Except, that is, for my 2 grandchildren. I am staying at my daughter's since she just delivered a new baby girl, a real sweetie. And, her big sister, 2 plus yrs old and a complete singer, dancer and actress. She is a real comedienne. They, and my children, fill the days with complete joy. But I have certain things I must take care of.....all work or unemployment related.

So all toll I have 9 weeks of severance and accrued vacation to come. Have not started looking for work yet, will leave that for next week. Now, its about looking at expenses and starting to think about the future.

Today, I switched my phone and Internet to Comcast, the triple deal special though I already have them for my cable provider. Fios is in my area and is really giving Comcast a run for their money. I used that in my negotiation with Comcast. I asked them what they were going to do to keep me as a customer and it worked. They beat Fios. Best part: I am saving $70 per month for the first 6 months and $50 per month thereafter. Just basic cable, no frills. But I love my cable shows: HGTV, Food Network, Project Runway is coming back on Lifetime...gotta have my cable.

But for those of us in the unemployment with no choice mode, rule number 1 should be negotiate to get the best deals and look at what you absolutely must have/keep. It's a buyer's market and no one should be afraid to try to get the best deal possible.

Before LO (layoff), I had already made changes in the house to cut costs: energy efficient windows, those funny looking light bulbs, unplugging everything that is not in use as energy is still drained even if you don't use an appliance and am happy to report that I have saved over $100 per month!

But I also have to think about income. So I called social security and surprise of surprises, they were wonderful! They were easy to talk to, helpful and fast. Who knew??? What I learned was a little disappointing. I am not really of retirement age (66 for women) though I turn 65 at the end of May. Therefore, I can collect social security with restrictions on income. I will only be able to earn $1000 per month. How do they expect people to live on that? They do it to defer the age people will sign up for these benefits. I signed up anyway because I can suspend my benefits at anytime. I wonder if winning the mega millions counts? No, I have not won but did buy a ticket for tonight.

COBRA: its not bad. That is if you are not turning 65. If you are 65 and have no health insurance through work and do not get Medicare, you are penalized when you do sign up for Medicare. COBRA is not considered health insurance through work so even though it would cost me less to do COBRA then Medicare plus a Medi-Gap program, if I don't sign up for Medicare now, the penalty is hefty when I do sign up. So I signed up. But I can use COBRA till my Medicare kicks in. My health insurance is paid till the end of April so guess what I did? I made all my medical appointments for next week. HA! At least I can get everything I need done before any other insurance kicks in. Not all doctors accept Medicare for payment. My own doctor does not. Not fun. More on this in upcoming blog.

Not seeing the people you worked with is really tough. Today I had lunch with 2 dear friends I made at work and that really lifted my spirits.

I find myself going through periods of sadness and anger. And as one who had the "personification of procrastination" written under her name in the college yearbook, I always looked for ways to put off what I didn't care to do, until tomorrow (ah, Scarlett O'Hara). Since the LO, I struggle to deal with the issues at hand even more so. Particularly the job market and income. I know the job market is not good; and at my age, its a disaster. That's when the anger sets in. A 401K that sucks and the thought that I would work for 3 more years at the company that set me free is almost too much to think about.

And, I think about me and how I really never felt quite comfortable that I would make it to retirement at this company. You know, I actually had 2 cell phones: 1 was the company cell and 1 was my personal cell. I never merged them. Interesting huh? I guess rule number two is listen to your gut. Your instincts are always better guides to what you should or should not do.

My former company did provide outplacement service and next Thursday and Friday I will be there. That's a good service to have where they look at your resume and help you update it; work on cover letters, review the job market and interviewing. I am looking forward to it and will be happy to share what I learn here. Hopefully, I will find some motivation there also since that is what is missing the most right now.

I guess this blog is not the most optimistic, tempered or not but it will get better....it will...maybe tomorrow.

The first blog...starting over

Today, with the help of my online friend, Ronni Bennett of Time Goes By, I begin a new blogging life. On income tax day I was laid off of work, one of 100 good people who tried their best to help a company be the best it could be. Unfortunately, none of us could predict what the last 8 years of the Bush administration would create: a horrific economy. Many companies, such as the one I worked for, were forced to lay off good people. And, if the truth be told, I knew it was coming.

Last December/January, there was a restructuring of the organization advertising department. I never really considered myself an advertiser but a marketer, a strategic thinker and doer, and communications. I was no longer leading an exceptional team of professionals. Instead I was to report to the head of brand management. Part of me was very excited at the prospect of doing what I was hired to do initially. Part of me knew this was the beginning of the end. How did I know? Easy, I worked in health care marketing, an aspect not easily accepted or understood by most. For years our team struggled with gaining internal acceptance of what our health programs were or did to promote the lifestyle of active, independent older adults. Perhaps it was my failure. Perhaps it was others' inability to see health as something more then doctors, or any medical intervention. Whatever the issue, the point was from this point on, I felt as though I could not make an impact on what I believed was the single most important factor that differentiated this company from other wanna be companies.


This was the 3rd layoff of 2009 for this organization. This one was quieter, though the rumors were alive and well. As I reflect now, I wonder what the leadership was thinking? surely they must have known employees heard the rumblings. Then it came. I got called to come in since I was to be at a conference. Though I had expected this, when I got the call, I really was stunned. I made it easy for my boss and others. After all the bottom line is that the company has to do what needs to be done to survive in this economy as it serves many lives and does a damn good job of serving others. I will pray for them and my coworkers.

What I miss the most is the people with whom I worked. I know each of us has our own lives and keeping in touch will be difficult for some. For me, I begin a new at an interesting point in my life. I had thought I would retire in at least 3 years so I could get the maximum benefit from Social Security since my 401K is so down from what it was. But I got a small severance and some accrued vacation time. And there is always unemployment! Though it will be difficult, I have decided to take some time for me and think things over. You know the old saying: I don't know what I want to be when I grow up? I think this is true at any age. Maybe there is a pot of gold at the end of this rainbow.



Over the next few blogs, I will write of my experiences, my plan, and my outlook. I title the blog the tempered optimist because that is who I am. I like to think that I look at things from the best side, not the worst; yet I am tempered by life's experiences so that I do not always see only the rosy side of life. I choose to be realistic but with a positive twist. Does that make sense? Who knows? But this is the start of a new journey. I hope you will contribute thoughts, suggestions, and opinions along the way.